When he's not defending himself in court against Tony Twist's frivolous lawsuits,
Todd McFarlane runs McFarlane Toys, makers of those highly detailed plastic figurines you've seen in finer toy and comic shops everywhere. They're more like collectible statuettes than they are like "toys," though — they're minimally articulated, so they can't be posed or played with all that much. Call them "inaction figures."
I said this years ago in a letter I wrote to
telegenic right-wing nut job Michelle Malkin, after I read her
histrionic column imploring Todd to please think of the children. As should be obvious to anyone who has a working familiarity with both McFarlane Toys and kids, these things are aimed at grown-up collector types. Seriously, what kid wants to play with the
1968 Beatles? Or SCTV's
McKenzie Brothers (ca. 1976)? Or characters from the 1977 hockey classic
Slap Shot?
After I sent Ms. Malkin my letter, I read a couple more of her columns, realized she was too far gone to try reasoning with her, and resolved to ignore her henceforth. I am happy to report that this sensible policy has kept me happily away from her column and the extremist media outlets that carry it ever since.
Anyway, I digress. I only meant to say that I just picked up some of McFarlane's newer additions to their
excellent line of NHL figures, and they're predictably neato. Here are Jarome Iginla and Saku Koivu in their original packaging (with my normal, adult-sized hand to give them scale):
Here are both of them out of the box:
I have an older McFarlane Yzerman figure in the company's standard size — maybe seven inches tall. I like the smaller scale almost as much, although the detail on Stevie is a lot better than on these little fellas. Since all three figures are basically useless trinkets, there's an advantage in their taking up less space. (Another interesting thing about the older Yzerman figure is that it was manufactured with the NHLPA endorsement but not the NHL's. That means the Yzerman likeness is kosher, but they couldn't put official logos on his jersey. In place of the Red Wings' winged wheel, his sweater bears a red-and-white version of the NHLPA logo.)
You may notice that Jarome's skating at kind of a weird angle in the above picture. Both he and Saku come with little support rods (not pictured) that run from the ice surface to their hamstrings. These are unsightly, but they might also be necessary. Big Stevie stands on a metal peg at the bottom of his skate, and after several months, he started to lean noticeably. Granted, he's a lot heavier. Anyway, Jarome stands up straighter when you stick his rod in, and who wouldn't? Excuse me.
I give these useless bits of plastic junk seven stars of a possible ten. I'll award them a bonus star if I ever think of an excuse for owning them. You got one handy?
Because no one demanded it, here's what the larger Yzerman figurine looks like. As you can see, the bigger scale allows for a lot more detail.
