Our pal Tim writes:
"ESPN came up with a way to fix hockey. They’ve reworked the entire league. Limiting it to 20 teams, DQ’ing fighters and suspending repeat offenders, using shootouts to decide tie games, mandating helmets AND visors for all players, even suggesting one of the teams should be from Vegas!
"Check it out. It’s some
interactive Flash-a-ma-bob."
It's got animated pre-enactments, too, that seem to have been computer-generated with EA Sports' NHL 2003. I guess George Lucas's ILM was already booked.
Now, the changes:
ESPN chose to ban fighting, but says 55% of "SportsNation" (which I gather means their online readership) would have repealed the instigator rule, which would regulate it instead. I agree with this majority, but the ESPNHL doesn't want to hear the argument again. Instead, they ask us if we would "still attend hockey games or watch them on TV if fighting was [sic] banned." Well, I would watch televised hockey if they dyed the ice orange, but that doesn't make it an improvement.
David D’Alessandro, part owner of the Boston Red Sox, is exactly right on how the League can afford to take its most fervent fans for granted: "The really hardcore fans want to see it, but the way that you make money is not selling it to those guys. They are going to come anyway. You have to be more widely popular with families and [fighting] is not going to help you there," he said.
The ESPNHL's most hilarious recommendation is to "improve [the] quality and level of analysis." I totally agree, but I wish someone would explain to me why this hasn't been within their power all along.
Shootouts: exciting in their way, but not as exciting as overtime — and when you award points for ties, the standings reflect more accurately the performance of the teams.
"No-touch" icing: alright, but it always takes me forever to get used to it when I watch international competitions like the Olympics.
The suggestion that TV sports journalists should have "full access" to teams' locker rooms: to be expected from a TV company, but basically stupid.
So what do you think about ESPN's imaginary league?