If you're like me, you've got loads of free time and energy that you might otherwise have spent shrieking at hockey games on TV. How can you best harness or squander this resource you didn't want?
01.
Join the National Hockey League Fans' Association - Formed in 1998, the NHLFA is free to join — which seems to be just about the fair market value of membership's privileges. A new member gets the satisfaction of watching the NHLPA's roster swell by one, and the opportunity to take part in the Association's annual Fan Report poll.
02.
Adopt a Hockey Player - What heart would not melt at this Photoshopped* image of Sally Struthers cradling a tiny Jaromir Jagr? "For you," the
HockeyAttitude.com weirdos write, "seven hundred dollars is nothing more than a month's rent, half a mortgage payment, perhaps two months of gas money. But to a hockey player, $700 will partially replace his daily salary."
03.
Watch Battle of the Gridiron Stars - Spurred by the cancellation of this year's NHL season, ESPN networks are hastening the debuts of seven original-programming projects. (Registration is required for the pleasure of reading Television Week articles, but their list of these seven shows is reproduced below.)
ESPN's League Night (working title): A one-hour show in which athletes including Terrell Owens, Jerome Bettis and Ben Roethlisberger play in a bowling tournament to raise money for their favorite charities.
Battle of the Gridiron Stars: Twenty pro football players compete in various summer camp-inspired games such as tug-o-war, obstacle courses, relay races and dodgeball. The one-hour show will be hosted by Joe Theismann and Kirk Herbstreit.
Teammates: A half-hour game show in which players compete with their teammates to answer questions about each other and their coaches. Hosted by Stuart Scott.
Who's #1: First televised as a special for ESPN's 25th anniversary, Who's #1 has been greenlighted as a series. The program ranks the top 20 teams, personalities and moments in sports history.
Top 5 Reasons You Can't Blame ...: A half-hour series that profiles the players, coaches and fans who have been blamed for sports catastrophes-such as the Cubs' 2003 playoff collapse and the suspected throwing of the World Series by the White Sox in 1919.
ESPN is also bringing back the sports trivia show Stump the Schwab and the stunt contest series I'd Do Anything for second seasons. ESPN describes I'd Do Anything as a reality series that asks fans to perform challenging tasks in order to grant friends a sports fantasy. One recent stunt, shot in Redondo Beach, CA, required contestants to play miniature golf while surrounded by swarms of bees.
*For you Adobe lawyers, we mean "manipulated by way of Adobe(TM) Photoshop(R) brand image-enhancing software."