Violence Inherent in the System

A Hard Right! A Nasty Left! Don Cherry, Politics and Hockey Fights

justwide — Thu, 12 Apr 2007 15:59:19 GMT

Like a lot of you probably do, I subscribe to Don Cherry's highly enjoyable "Grapeline" podcast from Fan 590. Coach Cherry is always entertaining, has a rich repertoire of great hockey war stories from his long career as a player and coach, and a generally winning personality. Some days it's fun just to hear his broadcast partner, the polished and professional Brian Williams, struggle to get Grapes to shut up in time for the perfunctory commercial breaks.

I don't always agree with Coach Cherry, which is to be expected. He probably doesn't always agree with himself. His continuing bias against European players, for example, is rightfully long out of fashion. But in March 27th's episode, one of a series of broadcasts about fighting in the game, he posited a political angle to the fighting debate that was just plain dumb.

"Most of the media," he said, explaining why so many people criticize fighting in hockey, "is left-wing." And "the one thing I wonder, though, with these wusses is, you know, their kids. And most kids really, you know, like fights. And they hear their dads being wusses, 'we don't like fighting, we don't like violence.' I'm thinking: holy smokes, if anybody ever breaks in the house, who's gonna protect his house? This wuss gonna protect us? Unbelievable!"

I feel uniquely qualified to answer this question. I'm as far to the left as they come down here in the U.S., but I think the effort to eliminate fighting from hockey is woefully misguided. Coach Cherry can't seem to imagine such an ideology — and he'd probably be even more perplexed by my very-conservative father-in-law (gun owner, FOX News watcher, the whole deal) who doesn't care for Don's and my favorite sport: too violent.

If I were Coach Cherry's next-door neighbor, he and I would probably never touch a single common lever in the neighborhood voting booth, but we agree perfectly about this: hockey fights aren't just an exciting part of the game that gets the fans and players fired up; they also keep the game safer for the skilled players everyone goes to the rink to watch.

One argument for banning fights from the NHL is that players who tussle expose themselves to the risk of serious head injury. And — while combatants in hockey fights are on skates, making their scuffles much less dangerous than fights in parking lots, bars or high schools — that's true, to a point. But what seems much more dangerous to me and, apparently, to Coach Cherry, is the risky style of dirty play that can proliferate when teams' tough guys are prohibited from enforcing justice against an player who hits from behind, or gets his stick up on his opponents. That kind of thing carries a real risk of injury, and it's exactly what the occasional bout of righteous fisticuffs can prevent.

Plus, fights are fun to watch. But here's where Coach Cherry's argument breaks down: where he pretends to understand the "liberal's" attitude toward violence generally. Violence in the real world between criminals and crime victims is entirely different from violence in sport between willing participants. If it weren't, I don't think I'd enjoy sports very much, and neither, I daresay, would Don Cherry.

Don: liberal though I may be, I would try to tear an intruder's throat out with my bare hands and teeth if it meant protecting my family. That doesn't begin to imply that I think throat-ripping would be fun, or make for good entertainment during stoppages in play. I don't, and neither (I hope) do you. The argument about fighting in hockey is between people who care for the sport and people who do not. Not between Right and Left.

Subscribe to Grapeline here.

Kid Fight!

Wed, 12 Jul 2006 17:33:00 GMT

If you love children and fisticuffs, here's the video clip that's got it all: it features two young players in full gear going adorable-little-toe-to-adorable-little-toe.

It's nice to see that they're still teaching kids the fundamentals. Next lesson for these two: when possible, select a sparring partner from members of the opposing team.

Eric Boulton Shows his Sensitive Side

Wed, 26 Oct 2005 15:05:00 GMT

Atlanta forward Eric Boulton reportedly called Tampa Bay's Paul Ranger this past weekend to apologize for his cheap shot last Thursday — a hit that gave Ranger a fractured jaw and a concussion and earned Boulton a six-game suspension.

"He called and felt pretty bad," Ranger said. "He apologized. I don't think he meant to cheap shot me or anything."

Ranger's coach John Tortorella was much less charitable after the incident, launching into what the Globe and Mail called "a profanity-laced tirade:"

"The [expletive deleted] guy should be playing in the [expletive deleted] East Coast Hockey League, but instead he takes out a [expletive deleted] NHLer. He'll be suspended, but who [expletive deleted] cares? No one wants to see him on the ice anyway."

Suspension notwithstanding, Boulton still leads the league in penalty minutes with 38. (Predators left wing Jeremy Stevenson has 37 and a game tonight in Columbus.)

Bert's Back

Thu, 11 Aug 2005 15:28:00 GMT

Todd Bertuzzi was reinstated, and got his own mildly ridiculous moment on the links reminiscent of Dubya's. ("Now watch this drive.")

With regard to l'affaire Moore, Darren Eliot of Sports Illustrated says it's time to move on. Steve Moore is as entitled as anyone to respectfully disagree, but he's diplomatic. "It's difficult to see that he's able to play again when I still have a long way to go, and not just in hockey, but with my health," he said. Moore filed a civil lawsuit that's still pending.

Did Bert get off easy? He'll have this thing hanging over him for a long time — maybe even his whole career. Imagine the scene: a reporter asks Bettman "Have you and the league been too anxious to put this whole thing with Todd Bertuzzi behind you?"

But all Bettman hears is "Todd Bertuzzi behind you," and he ducks under the podium for cover.

All-Time Cheapest Shots

Mon, 28 Jun 2004 07:31:00 GMT

When Todd Bertuzzi sucker-punched Steve Moore last year, it made news even outside the hockey world, confirming an opinion that's widely held by non-fans: that the game is nasty, brutish, and short on finesse. They even discussed it on THE VIEW -- and you can bet the clip of Bertuzzi riding the unconscious Moore to the ice was the only hockey those ladies watched all season. Thanks, Bert, for the extra PR! Your feat takes its place on the list of candidates for hockey's all-time cheapest shots:

TODD BERTUZZI ON STEVE MOORE, 2004

Here's the video of the attack as it happened. The FOX commentator (whose voice I don't recognize) is a little hard on Canucks coach Marc Crawford, saying "Crawford's laughing about it! He's got a smirk on his face!" It seems to me that Crawford is just weathering the justified fury of Avalanche coach Tony Granato.

MARTY McSORLEY ON DONALD BRASHEAR, 2000

With two seconds remaining in a meaningless game between the Bruins and Canucks (the playoff picture was coming into focus, and didn't feature either team), veteran goon Marty McSorley skated up behind Donald Brashear and high-sticked him in the side of the head, baseball-style. Brashear fell, unconscious, backward onto the ice. A Canadian court found McSorley guilty of assault with a weapon, though he didn't go to jail. Todd Bertuzzi, Brashear's teammate at the time, called for justice: "What can you really say? It's disgusting, what happened. And, uh, it's unfortunate, and uh, the league's gotta do something about it." As you can hear in the above video clip, Bertuzzi's assault on Moore was drawing public comparisons to the McSorley/Brashear incident less than two minutes after it happened.

CLAUDE LEMIEUX ON KRIS DRAPER, 1996

Hey, look: another dangerous and illegal cheap shot from one of Marc Crawford's players! Coincidence? Yes, actually, I think so. There was nothing a coach could do about the Claude Lemieux problem except bench him. The creep was a dirty player in every uniform he ever wore, from Montreal to Dallas. During the 1996 playoffs, Red Wing Kris Draper was headed off the ice for a line change when Lemieux (wearing his visor, by the way) boarded him facefirst onto the top of the open boards in front of Detroit's bench. Draper was hospitalized for a fractured jaw, broken nose and facial lacerations. With unapologetic and obnoxious comments afterward, Lemieux provided fuel to stoke the hatred that continues to burn for him across North America.

BOBBY CLARKE ON VALERY KHARLAMOV, 1972

For years, Bobby Clarke's toothless sneer was the emblematic face of rough, physical, North American style hockey. In the 1972 Summit Series, the dazzling skills of the fast skating, brilliant puckhandling left winger Valery Kharlamov embodied the Russian style. Harry Sinden, Team Canada's head coach said of Kharlamov: "All of us were impressed, but none of us wanted to let on. I've seldom seen anyone come down on two NHL defensemen and beat them to the outside, go around them and then in on the net. It just isn't done." With his all-star squad on the ropes, and unable to match Kharlamov's skill level, Clarke simply chased him down in game six and slashed him on his injured ankle hard enough to break it. Violence was always part of Clarke's game. Commenting years afterward, he said: "If I hadn't learned to lay on a two-hander once in a while, I'd never have left Flin Flon."

I'm sure every fan remembers a cheap shot or two that stands out because it was directed at a member of his favorite team. What are some low blows that still get your ire up to recall? Hunter on Turgeon '93? Suter on Kariya '98?

Battle of the Hockey Gladiators

Fri, 18 Jun 2004 18:41:00 GMT

No doubt lots of people find the NHL rulebook to be nothing but incomprehensible arcana. We say "two-line pass," and they hear "blah, blah, bluh." For them, promoter Darryl Wolski had the bright idea to excise all that troublesome business with the stick and puck that takes place between fights, and call what's left Battle of the Hockey Gladiators, a pay-per-view TV event to be held this August in Minneapolis. Among the goons will be 10 former NHLers, including all-time greats like Mike Ware (five games, one assist, 15 penalty minutes in the NHL).

Not everybody's excited in a good way. USAToday reports that Wolski "says his people have told him [the event] is 'a travesty.'" He needs to get new people.

All Hands on "the Bad One"

Mon, 07 Jun 2004 17:57:00 GMT

Erstwhile Bruise Brother Bob Probert was zapped with a Taser and arrested Friday in Delray Beach. ESPN reports:

"'He was so combative in our jail that we didn't take a booking photo of him because we didn't want to struggle with him again out of handcuffs,' police spokesman Jeff Messer said."